I was working out at the gym today, my mind was juggling a plethora of thoughts. I am amazed I was able to accomplish what I did. My thoughts flashed from one "prayer request" to another and I prayed as I worked.
At one point I mentioned to the Lord how long I had been praying for something, waiting for Him to work in a certain area. Then I did it, I mentioned to the Lord my age, I reminded Him how time was passing, how long I had been waiting and praying, and waiting.
He reminded me of Abraham. He's been reminding me of Abraham a lot lately. In God's scheme of things it wasn't about how long Abraham had been waiting for the Lord to fulfill the promise He made, and it wasn't about how old Abraham was getting. It was about God's will being performed in His time, according to His purpose, for His glory.
What was I thinking? A strange sense of reality came to me, and a whisper to surrender.
I thought I had...at least a million times. Not.
Why isn't it enough for me to have His promises, to put my hope in Him because, "... hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:5
Because, like fallen Eve, I still want to be like God. To be able to see 10 years down the road, to know what He knows. And not only that I want to have a "say in it."
Back to the throne of grace, back on my face...
It is amazing that God never reminds me of my age and how long it takes me to learn some things.
"Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?" Romans 2:4